Navigating Life Alone

Mom and dad moved and I was all alone with Ash.

I was scared.

No, I was terrified, but I would learn how to be a mom without my parents around.

It took time and patience, and I soon realized it was actually easier to "mom" her without their “do that's” or the “do this's” of the day. If you've ever lived with your baby AND your parents then you know parenting can be very challenging with their opinions always being thrown at you. Don't get me wrong I could not have done it without then, but there were many challenging times as a young mom too.

I was 18, single, a mom to a two-year-old, and my parents just moved 45 minutes away.

What's a girl to do?

What I did do over the next 6 to 9 months was learn more and more about my daughter. I learned her temperament. I learned her habits. I learned her attitude, and I learned that my parents gave her everything!! She was spoiled rotten, and I was having a hard time disciplining her. Scott and I were still not together so other than friends, I was navigating through this alone. We spent a lot of time back and forth to Bloomington, MN visiting my parents. Sundays seemed to be the day we would make the drive up for dinner, and of course, sit and watch the Vikings football game with my dad. My sister would go with Ash and I often, which made the ride that much better.

For now, we were trying to figure out our place. Ash and I were living in our duplex just trying to stay afloat.

It was late winter (January) of 1993 when Ash had a follow up cardiology appointment. It was a short few days later we learned it was soon time for her 3rd and final (or so we thought), heart surgery. We knew this day was approaching but what we didn't now, was Ashley would once again be knocking on heaven's door.