Life’s Unpredictable Decisions

Up until 12 years ago I made decisions first then thought about them later.

As I have mentioned, I had a knack for learning and doing things the hard way because no one was going to tell me any differently.

Over the years I was determined to be right and do things my way.

My teenage years were just the beginning of the many decisions I made before thinking through the consequences. Consequences that would not only affect me, but those very close to me. That says a lot about my character and who I was. I was not a good woman for many, many years and it all started with wrong decision making and being a know it all.

I used to wish I would have figured things out at a much younger age and earlier in life but then I realized, I would not be where I am today had I not made all of those wrong choices and mistakes. It took me a lot longer to do things, but I am grateful I finally did them.

It was fall of 1991. I was a seventeen-year-old mom to a one-year-old special needs daughter, and I was pregnant, yet again.

I was driven to 'take care of it' but what I would find out was that me ‘taking care of it’ was not going to 'end' how I thought it would.

My young mind thought the best scenario for everyone would be to 'get rid' of this baby.

How could I possibly bring another child into the world when the first one was so sick, and her health and well-being were so unpredictable?

I had no clue what I was doing with one child, let alone two.

The smart thing would have been to think first and act later and in this case, it means Scott and I should have used protection and/or thought about the consequences before the act. But we didn't.

There are many that are against the first decision I made and today I would never make those decisions and choices but back then, that's what I did. It wouldn't much matter that that was the decision I made because that is not what the end result of the pregnancy was. I could not proceed with this plan because I was too far along to proceed.

By too far along, I mean I was 5 months to far.

I was not only pregnant again, but I was 5 months pregnant…with twins.