Where is the breaking point?

What could we be up against this time?

I was nineteen years young and had already been through so much.

Having a baby at 16, another pregnancy followed by an adoption at 17, my parents moving, Ashley going through open heart, closed heart, a stroke, etc. etc.

There were so many changes, adaptions, and uncertainties already, what more could we possibly endure?

Wellll surprise, we were in for not one but TWO shocks that year. This first shock would send me into even more of tailspin as far as my self-esteem and worth went, more then I was already dealing with.

In the spring of 1993 Ashley would need yet again, open heart surgery. She was outgrowing her shunt and her finger-tips and lips were slowly turning blue. She wasn't getting the oxygen she needed, and her heart needed to be completely switched from what it was doing, to what it was supposed to be doing. This would be another gut wrenching, nerve wracking, lip chewing surgery, that we were not even close to being prepared for.

They call this surgery the Fontan.

The final and last surgery for heart kids.

Or at least that's what we thought it would be.

What I didn't know was when we were told Ash would need surgery, this would be the surgery that would almost claim her life. What was supposed to be a two week stay at Minneapolis Childrens, turned into 3.5 months.

Three open heart surgeries within 6 days of each other, breathing after breathing problems, scar tissue in and around her throat, a tracheotomy, and us being told Ashley would not make it past 3, if she'd even survived this hospital stay and recovery, at all.

It was traumatic for everyone.

Watching my daughter lay there with a million tubes and IV's coming out of her fighting for her existence; it takes a toll on you mentally and emotionally, and for me, it took so very much out of me. Three and a half months of horror for my baby girl that year, along with what she had already gone through, was more than enough to last a lifetime.