Reflecting Back…

I briefly touched on my own life as a child and as I have been reflecting back it's clear that your understanding about where I came from, will help paint a better picture. As I said my childhood was fantastic. What's important for you to know is that I am not an abuse survivor that endured any kind of physical or sexual abuse as a child. What I did experience as a young girl I wouldn't realize mattered, until recently. My parents were together as a result of meeting in a restaurant/lounge type of a place. My Mom was a waitress at The Flame, and Dad's agent booked him there to play music. He played keyboards in various bands and traveled around to different states. Dad was from Shreveport, LA and Mom from Iowa. Their meeting took place in the heart of Minneapolis, MN. They met, married, had us girls, then went through their own tough journey divorcing when I was just 3 years old. They were separated for a couple of years and after a lot of hard work and commitment in 1979, they remarried. Mom went to Al-anon and Dad to AA and they put time and energy into doing what it took to remain a family. My Dad was always in the bar scene being he played in a band which led him down an unhealthy, toxic, alcoholic path that my Mom wasn't going to join him on. The couple of years they were apart meant Mom was a single Mom and if you have ever been one, you know it's one of the most difficult jobs out there. So ok, I had parents that fought to stay together. Mom worked the pm shift as a nurse in a nursing home, and Dad worked day shift at a factory in the twin cities. It was pretty great dynamics and it worked for our family. I grew up in the 70's which meant I was NEVER home. Kick the can, hide and seek, hanging at the resort, and spending every possible moment with friends outside was how life was for me. I was and still am a very outgoing, loud, extrovert type of person and I wouldn't of had my upbringing any other way.

Friends, fun, outdoors, and family were what life was about growing up. As a family we fished, boated, and hung out with my grandparents often. As I got older and started to pay attention to my looks, outfits, and overall presence. I was crushing on the boy that worked with my sister. He was cute and drove a maroon car that I thought was so cool.

I just HAD to get to know him and I did just that.

We dated, fell in love, and had a lot of fun being together. We would go to parties, he would watch me dance at halftime during sporting events, and we spent a lot of time with his family too. He was a quiet boy that liked to hunt, fish, and drive his cool Chevy Cordova. We were carefree like most teenagers and never expected anything like becoming parents to change that. We went to prom my sophomore year, and did the things teenagers that were 'in love' did.

The dynamics of our relationship would soon change and the closeness between us would fade. We drifted and grew apart which was a result of not only having a baby so young, but having a baby that would require so much medical attention. It was hard on us individually let alone trying to keep it together. There was so much I would learn at such a young age not only about human hearts, but about myself too. It was a challenging first year of Ashley's life in so many ways, including my relationship with her Dad.